My friend Malu has a clever way of dealing with her dog, Happy, so he will not suffer from separation anxiety. In the mornings while she and her daughter are preparing to leave for work, Happy is being prepared too. He is brushed, given his meal, fitted his collar, and leashed. When Malu and her daughter walk out the house towards the car, Happy walks out with them too. Then the maid veers the dog off in the opposite direction for his daily morning walk. While Happy is a distance away, Malu and her daughter drive off in the other direction. There are no farewells between the dog and his mistresses. The dog doesn’t experience any separation.
Separation anxiety is often the underlying cause behind many dog behavioral problems at home. Many owners don’t realize it is simply because their beloved pet is upset at being separated from them. Trainers are called and are unsuccessful in eradicating the behavior. When the master comes home and sees the path of destruction caused by his dog he is greeted by the culprit ecstatic at the reunion.But the master, not as happy, renders punishment instead. This throws his pet into confusion. He is happy at his master's return but his master is mad at him. For what? In time the happy dog becomes fearful, not knowing what to expect.
The next time the dog is locked alone in the house again, the damage continues and pools of urine and animal poo litter the floors. The master returns and punishes the dog upon seeing the wreckage and the dog learns to fear the arrival of his master. But later, his master will call him for a cuddle and maybe for a walk in the park. The dog is now in confusion. Are good times back again?
Not at all. The next day as the master tries other methods (locking the dog in the yard, chaining him, or confining him to a cage, etc.) the hapless dog's anxiety makes him display new problematic behavior such as making holes in the garden, barking or howling all day, destroying the flowerbed, etc.
The problem refuses to ease up as the master exacts one disciplinary action after another on a confused dog. Finally, the dog ends up being given away. Total separation.
Not at all. The next day as the master tries other methods (locking the dog in the yard, chaining him, or confining him to a cage, etc.) the hapless dog's anxiety makes him display new problematic behavior such as making holes in the garden, barking or howling all day, destroying the flowerbed, etc.
The problem refuses to ease up as the master exacts one disciplinary action after another on a confused dog. Finally, the dog ends up being given away. Total separation.
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| A black Lab waits expectantly for his master to come back. |
I've heard owners suspect their dog was exacting vengeance on them because of an earlier scolding -- or that the dog was seeking attention because of neglect. That would apply if the dog was human. But he is canine -- a different specie.
Dogs, whom we often hear of as "pack animals" are not solitary creatures and cannot live alone. Separated from his master or family and left alone, a dog will whine, cry, and bark – natural reactions he used to do to bring his mother to him. But being an adult he can do more: he can dig, scratch the door or window, chew at the fence or whatever it is that holds him back, climb the bookcase or furniture, mutilate the plants, defecate and urinate in inappropriate places (such as the family’s new Persian carpet), or seek escape to try to rejoin his family.
That was how my second Dalmatian named Toby, came into our lives.
I first saw the dog as a 4-month old puppy when his master, Roy, came to visit our dog school at a local park. Toby had big feet which he flopped sideways awkwardly, a movement which dog trainers in our company called “East-West.” It seemed the dog was living in a comfortable home with shiny but slippery floors. Toby needed to walk on solid earth more often to strengthen his foot muscles and straighten out his walk.
This gave Roy good reason to take his pet out to the park on weekends for long walks. But as Roy spent his Saturday mornings at the dog school and revealed bits of his life at his home, we could see that his beloved dog was causing friction in the family. Roy’s wife, fond of beautiful but fragile Thai home décor, was often infuriated by Toby’s rowdiness around the house. The dog was always smashing or crashing into something valuable.
I told Roy their house was not pet-friendly. “Get rid of your breakables,” I advised him. “If you must insist on displaying them, put them up high. You have a Dalmatian – a high energy dog. If it doesn’t get the exercise it needs it’s a jumping time bomb!”
But Toby’s emotional turmoil was never understood whenever Roy left him behind. One night, the family decided to go out to dinner and locked the dog alone inside the house. In their absence, Toby released his fear and frustration of being left behind and turned the house into his personal bathroom by urinating and defecating everywhere, broke valuable china and glass décor, even attempted to follow his owners by climbing out a window and crashing down the TV set in the process. When his family came home that night Toby got exiled – literally.
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| This is Toby -- at the time of his exile in 2007 |
“Just walk away,” I told Roy. “No farewells. Don’t look back. Just walk out of here.”
While we distracted Toby with play, his now former master walked out. Toby didn’t seem to notice it.
I brought the dog home where he immediately enjoyed his new family immensely because he finally had playmates. His new life kept him busy. I never saw the dog pine away at a door or window looking for Roy.
Every weekend after that I’d bring Toby to the park where Roy would visit him. Roy would bring him a new red collar, a kilo of his favorite bananas, and other gifts. The two would walk around the park to bond. Then Roy would return Toby to the dog school. While we distracted Toby with a run around the agility course, Roy would leave quietly.
Before our dog school at the park closed the following year, Roy gave Toby one last visit. The two walked around the park then returned to the school where Roy tied Toby to a post and informed us he was leaving. But that was a busy Saturday morning and there were many students. Somehow, Toby was not immediately tended to and Roy, tired of waiting, turned and walked out the school grounds. He was already a distance away when Toby managed to loosen his leash and pursued his master down the lane, greeting Roy ecstatically upon being reunited with him, expecting to go home with his (former) master. Roy calmly picked up his dragging leash and walked him back to the school where one of the marshalls took him for an exercise. While Toby’s back was turned Roy walked away again.
I watched the dog when he was returned back to the post where he had last seen Roy. I saw Toby turn his head in all directions as if to say, “Huh? Where did my master go? He was here a minute ago.”
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| Toby touches Roy lovingly. He didn't understand that Roy had given him away already. |
But that’s as far as it went. At closing time Toby climbed inside the car along with Spot to go live in his new home with us and his new packmates without looking back.
It was Toby who made us aware of what happens when a dog suffers from separation anxiety. His first family threw him out because of it. Almost all dogs suffer from this agony and they cope with it in their own doggy way. Before Spot came into our lives we had a Boxer named Butchie Boy. I remember leaving him inside the house leashed while I stepped out for an errand. Everybody was out so Butchie Boy would be literally left by himself. I thought of keeping him tied so should he think of answering nature’s call it would be controlled in just one area. My mistake. When I arrived, I saw that Butch had somehow reached my computer and had chewed all its cables in half.
We’ve had our own share of horrors in the past with growing dogs in our midst and we’ve developed our own ways of helping minimize this anxiety which they feel when separated from us.
One of the most common ways we do should we ever leave the dogs alone is to leave a radio turned on to a relaxing music station. Dogs wait patiently for their family’s return and a quiet house seems to make all small sounds louder, adding to their anxiety. A voice in the street, a neighbor’s door banging, a creaking branch in the wind, etc all cause them to worry and bark nervously. Music covers all these disturbing sounds and keeps them calm.
Another rule we observe is that we do not bid the dogs goodbye. They may see all the signals of a departure and that is enough. So we do not bid them farewell.
On days that I may spend a few days out of town, I do not let Spot sleep alone in my room. He has another alternative: I send him to sleep with Dominic. Dominic takes him on his twice daily walks and Spot guards his time with Dominic jealously. So a night or two in Dominic’s room assures the dog an early morning walk upon their awakening.
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| A buddy can help chase your dog's blues away. |
When Spot had his first flight via cargo to attend an agility trial in the south, I added to his kennel box a used t-shirt and blanket which carried all the smells of his home and family here. I followed two weeks later and when we saw each other, Spot didn’t overreact. He just wondered where I’ve been all that time. Inside his kennel box was still the used t-shirt and blanket. He slept with those every night during those two weeks he was away from us.
There are no set and hard rules on how to console your dog from his agony of separation from you. From Happy going out for his own “appointment” while his mistress goes out on hers, to Spot traveling miles away with a smelly t-shirt and blanket packed in his kennel box – all these minimize the dog’s agony of realizing he is apart from his pack family. As long as your method comforts your pet and keeps him from unleashing his unhappiness around him, you’ve gained a step further in understanding your canine companion better.
That’s another triumph of pet parenting.
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