Packy is attached to our maid Lourdes. Here he waits for her to come back after she stepped out for an errand. |
These are the things dog owners do not see when they walk out that door and leave their furry pet behind
He looked so cute, a small Dalmatian puppy with big awkward feet, sitting by the doorway watching me prepare to leave for work. My little dog Spotty was watching the usual morning ritual.
When I moved to another room in the house I noticed the dog suddenly performed the “Heel” command with no leash. He had been going to obedience school lately and at home, when I’d try the “Heel” command on him our teamwork wasn’t smooth. But that morning as I moved from room to room the dog walked by my side in a manner that would’ve been praised by dog trainers.
Finally, as I stood before the mirror for a last look, I saw the little spotted dog at the doorway to my room, his knees trembling. Huh? What was he afraid of? Or was it just a draft in the doorway?
I was such an obsessed employee then. I was in media and the work was always demanding but exciting. I’d come home late at night, tumble into bed, wake up in the morning with deadlines on my mind, rush to leave, and fly out the door with a two-word farewell to my elderly father who sat in the living room reading the papers.
But ever since that new dog came into my life – I’d spend more time bidding it farewell. I’d cup his puppy face in my hands, remind him to be good while I was gone, and promise I’d be back with maybe a treat so wait for me.
As this farewell ritual repeated itself every morning, the dog started to avert his gaze. He’d lower his head and I’d struggle to bring it up so I could see his face. But he’d lower it even more. With the household help watching in amusement, we’d joke that the dog seems to have picked up some melodramatic behavior. Finally, because the dog insists on keeping his head lowered and eyes averted, I’d bid my farewell, get up on my feet and drive off to work.
The dog was exhibiting separation anxiety. But I was new then to the care of dogs. I didn’t know Spotty’s agony every morning was to see me leaving him behind.
It is a sad fact of life to learn that dogs live, what the British canine psychologist John Fisher called, a “compressed life.” Dogs age at an average of 8-10 years faster than humans. The dog owner has not yet fully understood how to housebreak their new puppy when, before they know it, their pet is already an adolescent. There is a lot of catching up to do for the owner in this next stage of life but their pet ages quickly then lo and behold -- the dog has become a mature adult. Then a few years later, he’s a senior pet.
Spotty at his 5th birthday party. |
Dog owners, therefore, have a lot of reading and studying to do once a dog enters their lives.
Unfortunately, I learned about separation anxiety three years later. It was the birthday of one of my peers and I found a wonderful book about dogs at a bookstore. The book was on sale so I bought two. The book delved on the many common problem behaviors of dogs for the owner’s understanding. One chapter talked about Separation Anxiety.
Separation anxiety is born from the dog’s nature as a pack animal; he is a social creature. They don’t thrive being alone. The impact of this meaning came to me when I was at a pet mall in Pasay City. I saw the love birds, busily chattering and filling the air with their merry noise. These were caged by the dozens. I was shopping for a canary. Where were the canaries? These brightly colored yellow birds were found in a quiet area of the pet shop, away from the noisy love birds -- one cage each.
Canaries are solitary creatures. Unlike the love birds, canaries do better alone.
When we see that, we can understand better what it means when the dog is sometimes described as a "pack animal." Dogs thrive in social groups; it is not in their nature to be solitary creatures. So when a dog sees signs of his master about to leave him behind, his agony starts. He cannot ask his master where he is going and when he will be back. All the dog sees is that there will be a separation; he will be alone, something contrary to his nature.
If the master could read the anxious signals, he may see his dog sitting in the doorway, hopefully to block his master’s exit. The dog may follow him around in the effort to keep his master within sight. He may tremble, salivate, lick his lips, yawn, or paw at his master.
But soon, the departure occurs and his master walks away. When that happens, life now ceases to be normal for the dog. The dog will sit by the window all day, climb on the roof to watch for his master’s car to return, or worse, try to escape to follow and rejoin his master.
Spot was lucky in the sense that when I’d leave him in the morning, my elderly father and household staff were there to keep him company. He had other canine friends there too. So he did not feel totally isolated or abandoned.
But the dog suffered his separation from me, regardless. One night, I decided to visit friends and came home past midnight. I had a maid who told me that Spot, expecting to see me arrive at my usual time, paced around the house the next succeeding hours waiting for me and refusing to retire to his bed. As the night deepened and the whole house was asleep, an anxious little dog sat in the dark in the living room, waiting for me.
These are the things dog owners do not see when they walk out that door and leave their furry pet behind. It may look cute and touching to know their dog waits for them to come back. But they don’t know the anxiety they put their dog through – and how they prolong it when they break the routine and arrive home later in the night.
Waiting waiting... It seems like dogs do nothing but wait all day. |
As I look back, my dog did exhibit the signs of this common behavior problem of canines. But I had made it worse with those dragging farewells! The ritual had all the more confirmed that I was, indeed, leaving him, and this would plunge him to depression as he’d helplessly watch me walk away and drive off.
But it wasn’t too late yet, wasn’t it? Now a grown dog and probably seeing, in time, that I do come back in the evenings, Spotty doesn’t tremble at the doorway anymore. But I don’t bid him goodbye when I leave. I don’t do any farewells.
I just walk out.
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